DENNIS LOSES HIS VOICE

Thanks to the comedy duo’s mickey-take of TV actor Dennis Waterman in their show – in which a tiny Dennis insists that he “write the feem tune, sing the feem tune” for all of his TV shows – we as a nation are now missing out on yet another single from the 59-year-old.

“I’ve sung the theme tune to my TV show New Tricks and fans are desperate to get their hands on it,” says Dennis, who is perhaps best known for his tough guy roles in The Sweeney and Minder and had a hit with the Minder tune, I Could Be So Good For You, in the Eighties.

“But, at this stage, I’m too nervous to release it.”

Never mind, it's probably for the best.