The sadness is just how much it disappoints. You would never guess the film-makers had waited 19 years to reintroduce their iconic hero: the picture feels like a cheap, routine cash-in, made by a hack director and tossed together in record time.
It is short on story, the supporting characters are poorly developed and Indy himself is underused, fading into the background as the climax nears.
More surprising, Crystal Skull fails as an exciting, action-driven spectacle, suffering not only in comparison with modern blockbusters but the previous instalments in the series.
There are no memorable set pieces to rival the tank chase in Last Crusade or the roller-coaster mine shaft pursuit in Temple Of Doom. Here, we get a jungle clifftop chase let down by some ropey CGI and a poorly-staged, thrill-free descent down a trio of colossal waterfalls.
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Cate Blanchett plays Indy's nemesis Irina Spalko
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Our hero and his ensemble of tedious companions are never in any real danger. The fun of Indiana Jones is watching him extract himself from impossible situations in the nick of time. This never happens, bar one notable exception: the opening sequence.
The picture kicks off with a panache and pace that promise a great time ahead, reintroducing Indy in a classic encounter with his new foes: the Russians.
It’s 1957 and the Russians have captured the swashbuckling archaeologist and overrun a top-secret US military base in the desert. A few cracks of the whip and creaks of the bones later (his age is referenced with some amusing asides) Indy is free – or so he thinks.
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Crystal Skull fails as an exciting, action-driven spectacle.
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In true Indy style, that’s when the real trouble starts and the next few minutes are tense, funny and ingenious as our hero finds himself slap bang in the middle of a nuclear testing site, seconds from detonation.
It’s a lovely beginning that shows Indy has lost none of his gumption and wry humour. Ford immediately convinces, looking a good deal less than his 65 years, and the new Commie-bashing era is successfully established.
The picture’s other high point comes soon afterwards, back at Indy’s college campus, after he is collared by a rebellious kid (Shia LeBeouf), who has evidence of the existence of a Crystal Skull, a famed object much sought-after by the Russians.
Some KGB goons give chase and the pair escape on Mutt’s Harley Davidson, tearing up the college campus and ending up in the library, where Indy collects himself to dispense a few tutorial tips.
It’s a great sequence, excitingly teeing up the forthcoming adventure and the pair’s fractious rapport (“for an old man you’re not bad in a fight”) but the sad truth is, the picture goes downhill from here, descending into an uninspired, run-of-the-mill quest through the jungles of South America, devoid of thrills and increasingly confusing.
The mission is simple enough (find the Crystal Skull before the Russians) but the rest is largely incomprehensible, sci-fi mumbo jumbo. Indy’s nemesis is a Russian military scientist, Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), who believes the skull (an, ahem, alien artefact) can give her all-conquering psychic powers.
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Unfortunately our hero and his ensemble of tedious companions are never in any real danger
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The science requires elaborate explanation that makes little sense, building to a ludicrous and baffling climax, more Close Encounters than Indiana Jones.
The truth is that not even Indy appears to have much of a clue. By venturing into sci-fi territory, producer George Lucas has essentially emasculated his hero, whose scholarship is effectively redundant here.
Present to help explain matters is a straggly-haired professor (John Hurt) who has gone bonkers in the jungle but, alas, I could barely understand a word he uttered.
There is some diversion in Indy’s relationship travails, as past lover Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) reappears with
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Blanchett as the Russian military scientist
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a big secret but these are milked more for quick, cheap laughs rather than an opportunity to deepen the character.
It’s a marked contrast to Indy’s amusing and touching relationship with his father, played by Sean Connery, in Last Crusade.
The Russian villains are neither here nor there. The picture would have benefited from locating some of the action in Russia, to get a sense of imperial menace. As it is, a ho-hum Blanchett and her posse could really be any generic baddies.
The few flashes of Indy’s old brilliance are proof that the film-makers could have pulled this off; certainly Ford is completely at ease in the role, but there is little evidence that anyone else’s heart was really in it.
Video 
SEEN THE FILM
01.06.08, 10:03am
I went to see this film on Friday the 30th of May.
I practically agree with EVERYTHING the article says. For someone who doesn't fall asleep easily, certainly not at the cinema, I was on the verge of falling asleep when the plot starting to be boring, over complicated too. There was no clearly defined plot, they would have benefited from having some filming in Russia, I couldn't help but think of Close encounters of the 3rd kind , " Mars Attacks " instead of a Indiana film, and that baddie Kate Blanchett was too similar to some baddies in some James Bond films!
Harrison Ford was undermined in his capabilities, Ray Winstone did nothing for me, John Hurt mumbled his way through the fim,and my daughter who grew up with the original Indiana Jones and viewed the film with me found Shia LaBeouf character ill fitting and unappropriate as Indiana's younger sidekick
Nineteen years...... for this weak result,i rest my case.
• Posted by: Dora85 • Report Comment
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